The Outdoor Entrance
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Why is that I always put my foot in my mouth
Some how I feel like I put my foot in my mouth. I hate that things are complicated with women. I try to do one thing and the next I screw it all up. My muscles ache my heart aches. I am confused. I wish I knew something without feeling so upset that women are just so frustrating. Its just driving me nuts. Feelings are so complexed. I put my foot in my mouth. If I say one thing I get yelled at if I do the right thing I get yelled at and if I do the wrong thing, I get yelled at. Its like I can't win.
God some days I hate being alive in this world. My stomach feels terrible and I feel terrible. Well, last night was pretty fun but I kind of felt guilty. I shouldn't of gone out with Andrew when I should of done something with Amy. Damn why couldn't women come with instructions. I just give up. I think I will be single if I don't find a woman who understands me or at least I understand.
Well that is just my opinion..
I am still dead tired and I am thinking I'll sleep for another hour if I don't wake up. I hate that my muscles are aching. God I wish I wasn't sick. I hate confusing and being sick. Its an even match. Well Wimbledon is on that usually boring but hell its better then nothing. Hey last night I decided to go to Sliders. I thought the place was awesome! A slight bit on the expensive side BUT ITS A GREAT BAR!. I think I should go there more often. Once a week or so. I think the bar is a lot better then the rat hole of Helios or Valhalla.
The bar reminds me of a nice bar with a great atmosphere which I can easily adapt myself into, I should slowly imerge myself into. Slowly blend myself into. I shouldn't dress gothy or preppy just dress casual. The bar seems hip and modern. I like the place. I think the next time I go, I would bring Bjorn. Or bring a sober Andrew. Its a place that seems home like for the clubish type. I like the place and I want to sample some of the daquiriis. So once I have a better control of my spending money I will go there.
So for a bar fly in Houston I give it a 5 out 5. Great Beats Great Beer and Terrific service. This was a great place that I never been to. I hope the next time I go it will still be the same. I am recommending this place to all my friends who are heavy in the club scene who want to chill and relax. The customer base seems like non punkish but has its pre party clubbers with the mix of those who want to go to clubs. They seem like normal people who are tired of the bars that are hyped up. So I am planning on going on the weekends. I am thinking of going on a Saturday with Bjorn. I will try to go a weekend I am back from Montreal and New Orleans. I want to listen to one of the DJs that they are have featured. It sounds like they are pretty well done and the bartender spends time talking with the patrons at the bar and respects the bar by making sure everything is stocked up. So Kudos to this bar. I hope it does well in the long run.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
I thought of my top five Sport Stars of Morons of This Week
Maybe I should stop complaining about sport stars and celebrities and even conservatives by calling them morons everyone has to be fair. These people have there share of credit and I am sick that they have there 15 minutes of complaints well I am tired of listening to them complain for today I am going to give you the top five sports stars who need to SHUT THE HELL UP FOR THE NEXT 15 MINUTES This week.
number 5: Jeremy Roenick: Sorry I love Hockey and sure what he said about about people kissing his backside and people should shut up and stay home. Well you know what if he keeps it up I am going to stay home and not watch the Flyers play. So he deserves a number 5.
number 4: Sammy Sosa: His hitting average this season is bellow 300, sure its not his fault he is playing in the American league but come on Sammy you seem like you are playing better when you were with the Cubbies rather than the with the best team in the American League the Orioles. You got stuck out 3 times when you were up to bat. Shame on you.
number 3: David Stern: NBA Basketball Commissioner: He is trying so hard to act like a bad ass but he is acting more like a pathetic gym coach trying to run a team of players bigger than him and trying to show his authority by imposing an age limit on the draft. Which every sports reporter thinks is a joke.
number 2: Mike Tyson: Sure the fight was a few weeks ago but his prefight antics were halarious and him getting his ass kick by the fighter was halarious. Mike Tyson should just quickily bow out and leave the ring because its too embarassing to see him get his assed kicked again. I am telling you the next person who should fight him is Mohammed Ali, even with Parkinsons Ali would still woop his ass.
Number 1: George Steinbrenner: Yankees Owner Sure he wants to rebuild the change but how can he can't do anything but hire or pay the players more money but the team is still in worse shape than before. The Yankees are in a downward swing. Steinbrenner is just trying to preserve the Yankee's image by throwing money around. He has always been a moron and he will always be Moron number one in my book.
number 5: Jeremy Roenick: Sorry I love Hockey and sure what he said about about people kissing his backside and people should shut up and stay home. Well you know what if he keeps it up I am going to stay home and not watch the Flyers play. So he deserves a number 5.
number 4: Sammy Sosa: His hitting average this season is bellow 300, sure its not his fault he is playing in the American league but come on Sammy you seem like you are playing better when you were with the Cubbies rather than the with the best team in the American League the Orioles. You got stuck out 3 times when you were up to bat. Shame on you.
number 3: David Stern: NBA Basketball Commissioner: He is trying so hard to act like a bad ass but he is acting more like a pathetic gym coach trying to run a team of players bigger than him and trying to show his authority by imposing an age limit on the draft. Which every sports reporter thinks is a joke.
number 2: Mike Tyson: Sure the fight was a few weeks ago but his prefight antics were halarious and him getting his ass kick by the fighter was halarious. Mike Tyson should just quickily bow out and leave the ring because its too embarassing to see him get his assed kicked again. I am telling you the next person who should fight him is Mohammed Ali, even with Parkinsons Ali would still woop his ass.
Number 1: George Steinbrenner: Yankees Owner Sure he wants to rebuild the change but how can he can't do anything but hire or pay the players more money but the team is still in worse shape than before. The Yankees are in a downward swing. Steinbrenner is just trying to preserve the Yankee's image by throwing money around. He has always been a moron and he will always be Moron number one in my book.
a dream that couldn't be real
YOU KNOW! I HAD A DAY DREAM! I COULD BE A PERFECT LOS ANGELES DODGERS. Here are a few reasons I believe I could play for the Los Angeles Dodgers. I am terrible in baseball, and I am terrible at sports in first of all but here is my reasons though I could be one. First I am overweight 220 like Eric Gagne and Fernando Valenzelula and I also wear glasses like the two of them. I also speak spanish and french like the two of them. I am a perfect closer like the two of them. I am a terrible ball player but I do have heart like them. But I do have a killer speed like most of them. I do have a terrible knees like Gagne. But I am saying I love the blue uniforms of the Dodgers and I am a passionate of the Dodgers and I am a fan of the old jerseys and I have been fascinated with the Dodgers because of Jackie Robinson and Sandy Kofax but I have always liked the Team because of Orel Hershiser and Tommy Lasorda but I know that I don't have a snowballs chance in hell in ever playing for the team. But I still think my favorite baseball team is still the Boston Red Sox. I have always loved the team since 1986 since Bill Buckner fucked up in game 6. I know people still think him having the ball over his leg is still the cost them the series but I still support the team. I have been passionate with the Sox cause of the legends of the team and I hate the Yankees.
I think the Yankees are a bunch of cocky rich bastards who think they are better than everyone and that George Steinbrenner is an asshole. But I guess if I was a New Yorker I would be pulling for the METS. Plus I think I like the underdogs, especially when Yankees are always predicted to be champs when they are playing against the Red Soxs. I hated Clements when he played for the Yankees but I loved him when he played for the Sox. I loved Oil Can Boyd and Wade Boggs. I liked Jim Rice even though his tatics of being MVP were very dirty when it should of been Ron Guidry. I liked Vince Coleman. I liked Nomar Garciapara when he played for the Sox and still liked him when he played the Cubs. But I am still a diehard Sox fan. My friends are Yankee fans my uncle Randy is a Yankee fan and I think that is why I hate the Yankees is just to piss him off.
Red Soxs are a great team, when they beat the Yankees and when they won the world series it was the happiest day of my life and this year it was the best year of my life. So its a win win situation. I guess my dream is that I go to Fenway and have a hotdog and watch a game. I want to watch a game next to the green monster. My dream is also to see Carl Yazstrstrmsky and interview him. I guess the true reason for Red Sox mania for me is Field of Dreams. If you Build It He Will Come.
Well, I will go to Fenway once I get my book published. Then I will go to Tiger Stadium. Then Yankee Stadium.
OK. So that is my dream. I am pretty happy about today now that I can move my arm but I can't move my legs. So I am stuck with cramps. I will try to move and keep my muscles from collapsing.
Amanda Walsh
The every so beautiful young lass that makes me enjoy my music and pop culture of Canada
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Just a Terrible Thought
You know what I thought Mark Russell looks like my dad. Yeah the Comedian with the piano and the political savy wit is basically a 65 year old version of my dad. I am telling you you put a picture of my dad and Mark Russell in the same photo and you can't tell who which is which. Even I can't tell. now I just got to find a picture of my dad. So I can find a picture of my dad So I can so you the comparism.
Even My Dreams Can't Be Stoned
Thoughts are great to share and they are plentiful. I had the ideal of my wedding earlier and what it would be like. But I am also thinking of today how bored I am now. I am really bored today. I have nothing to do today. I am so tired but I can't sleep. My muscles aren't killing me as much as before. I am trying to think what to write about.
The weather outside is hot and I had can't go outside which sucks. Speaking of going outside, there is a heron waiting outside the door. Its a pretty bird but kind of freaky just standing there. I am wondering what is it doing there standing waiting for something. Its like its waiting inline for something. I like the bird. The bird gives character but I hope it does fly away. So he can be with his or her family.
Well aside from the bird. I am still trying to figure out what to do tonight. I am trying to scream. I hate feeling cooped up but I have to figure out what to do. I know what to do I have to clean the bathroom and the den. So I can get paid. I will ask mom so she can pay for my razors blades and my deorderant pay me back. I am also planning on stopping as of two o'clock today today of stopping smoking for the second time.
This time I am serious. I have to quit for the sake for Montreal and to save my money.
Awwww!
I WANNA GET MARRIED
ok this is settles it. I am going to get married in ten years. I am planning to get married when I before I turn 35. OK I am sick of being single for the last 8 years and I am sick that I am not getting unlucky in love and so I want to get married. I am going to getmarried. I am going to find the future Mrs.Collins in the next 10 years. The woman will be an ideal woman who enjoys music, poetry my writing, art, my upbeat having fun, enjoys partying drinking, clubbing. I want to get married damn it its so sad that I am so single.
Here are a few places are Ideal places of getting married.
1) Pierre and Rejean Chalet (small private wooded area and no cameras and intimate and on the lake)
2) Ste Collette Church in Montreal (the Catholic Church I had my first communion and baptism)
3) The Palms Las Vegas Nevada (hey a Vegas Wedding I just gotta thinking about it)
ok.
so I have my top 3 places of where I would have my wedding. Now I just got to have to find the bride.
ok so I also figured that if I am going to get married, I am going to get married I am going to have either a big wedding or a small wedding. I don't want a big church wedding. With everyone there just a few friends and my family mom and dad. I already have my best man in line, Michael or Bjorn. The wedding will be also a catered affair.
I also want to have good food. I want Turtle Soup (providing the bride's conscent) clam chowder if we are in Canada) Oyster bisque. We will have Beef Wellington, Chicken ala king. Two cakes, One Chocolate Doberge and one traditional.
Also regarding alcohol. We will have an open bar. I want to have a keg at the bar as well as have an open bar. Simple but we'll played out. Hopefully it will work . I want to find a bride eventualy by 10 years.
I hope that I find one by the time I become independent. First by finding a publisher, then living on my own and paying my own bills. I hope I can do this by the next 5 years.
ok this is settles it. I am going to get married in ten years. I am planning to get married when I before I turn 35. OK I am sick of being single for the last 8 years and I am sick that I am not getting unlucky in love and so I want to get married. I am going to getmarried. I am going to find the future Mrs.Collins in the next 10 years. The woman will be an ideal woman who enjoys music, poetry my writing, art, my upbeat having fun, enjoys partying drinking, clubbing. I want to get married damn it its so sad that I am so single.
Here are a few places are Ideal places of getting married.
1) Pierre and Rejean Chalet (small private wooded area and no cameras and intimate and on the lake)
2) Ste Collette Church in Montreal (the Catholic Church I had my first communion and baptism)
3) The Palms Las Vegas Nevada (hey a Vegas Wedding I just gotta thinking about it)
ok.
so I have my top 3 places of where I would have my wedding. Now I just got to have to find the bride.
ok so I also figured that if I am going to get married, I am going to get married I am going to have either a big wedding or a small wedding. I don't want a big church wedding. With everyone there just a few friends and my family mom and dad. I already have my best man in line, Michael or Bjorn. The wedding will be also a catered affair.
I also want to have good food. I want Turtle Soup (providing the bride's conscent) clam chowder if we are in Canada) Oyster bisque. We will have Beef Wellington, Chicken ala king. Two cakes, One Chocolate Doberge and one traditional.
Also regarding alcohol. We will have an open bar. I want to have a keg at the bar as well as have an open bar. Simple but we'll played out. Hopefully it will work . I want to find a bride eventualy by 10 years.
I hope that I find one by the time I become independent. First by finding a publisher, then living on my own and paying my own bills. I hope I can do this by the next 5 years.
Monday, June 27, 2005
I had a thought.
A few days ago, TBS aired Zoolander. Well I am a former model and well I even know a lot of models from Steph's work and Amanda's work and Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) plays a dead on role as the egotistic and stupid world of male modeling. I was wondering if I do lose weight, cut down on my cigarettes I should go back to modeling. Yea. I won't be Hansel though his mysticism and crazy views of the world or be a dimwit like Derek. But I should start by modeling small stuff and talk with Jillian and ask her to take some pictures or headshots of me to pass around.
Really, fashion is a great passion of mine and I love the lights and the camera focused on me. I have to first lose a lot of weight but not be skinny but I have to bulk up a little cause right now I am flabby. I am going to wash my hair and wash my face. It was a terrible idea I thought of but I would like to see if I can still put my head up in become a terrific male model. It won't be easy but I have to start from scratch again. I will brush my teeth and make myself model looking. Well, I would have an agent and I would be concerned about modeling.
I will discuss it again with my parents and see what they think. I know ,that I have a lot of work that needs to be done before I become a major hit but I just want to talk with them to tell them my proposal.
A proposal would include: How much it would be to get my teeth done. My hair become smooth and take care of myself and that I would really need to quit smoking. I will talk with modeling agencies here in Houston and other places to see what is the look for men like me. I would first have to lose about 30lbs but I don't want to starve myself. I have to do alot of thinking of keeping my looks as good as before. I want to figure out a way to lose weight, I can't walk do to LUPUS and I can't do much but I hate that I am so flabby. I will also have to shave my body to get that smooth look. I will buy the Male Nair once I have money for it. I will hide it from my parents. I would love to go back on the runway or at least on stage to look good and even be concidered sexy again.
I also have to cut down my sweets and also stop eating midnight snacks. Really I am going to talk with my dad to help me get these things off my chest. I am going to lose weight and I am going to find ways to buff myself. I hate that I have strong calves but my chest looks like a 60 year old.
Well that is just an idea, even if I don't become a model I will lose weight at least 30 lbs by October. So I am going to cut down everything I eat. I will not eat sweets and cut down on junk food. So I can be skinny. My goal is to lose 10 a month. I will slowly do it, I will eat only vegetables and a little bit of meat and chicken. NO MORE COKES OR soft drinks. I will drink juice and ice tea. I wanna be thin again. I will also talk with Nancy this week to get myself more trim.
I will shower and shave everyday even if it doesn't look like I need to shave I'll do it. Just to keep myself young. I will also get a haircut every 3 weeks.
So here is what my major plan. LOSE 30 LBS by October. Right now I weigh 227 I want to be 160 lbs. So everyday I will find ways to lose weight without starving myself. If I am hungry I will eat a vegetable or a fruit. Something to keep me from starving.
Really, fashion is a great passion of mine and I love the lights and the camera focused on me. I have to first lose a lot of weight but not be skinny but I have to bulk up a little cause right now I am flabby. I am going to wash my hair and wash my face. It was a terrible idea I thought of but I would like to see if I can still put my head up in become a terrific male model. It won't be easy but I have to start from scratch again. I will brush my teeth and make myself model looking. Well, I would have an agent and I would be concerned about modeling.
I will discuss it again with my parents and see what they think. I know ,that I have a lot of work that needs to be done before I become a major hit but I just want to talk with them to tell them my proposal.
A proposal would include: How much it would be to get my teeth done. My hair become smooth and take care of myself and that I would really need to quit smoking. I will talk with modeling agencies here in Houston and other places to see what is the look for men like me. I would first have to lose about 30lbs but I don't want to starve myself. I have to do alot of thinking of keeping my looks as good as before. I want to figure out a way to lose weight, I can't walk do to LUPUS and I can't do much but I hate that I am so flabby. I will also have to shave my body to get that smooth look. I will buy the Male Nair once I have money for it. I will hide it from my parents. I would love to go back on the runway or at least on stage to look good and even be concidered sexy again.
I also have to cut down my sweets and also stop eating midnight snacks. Really I am going to talk with my dad to help me get these things off my chest. I am going to lose weight and I am going to find ways to buff myself. I hate that I have strong calves but my chest looks like a 60 year old.
Well that is just an idea, even if I don't become a model I will lose weight at least 30 lbs by October. So I am going to cut down everything I eat. I will not eat sweets and cut down on junk food. So I can be skinny. My goal is to lose 10 a month. I will slowly do it, I will eat only vegetables and a little bit of meat and chicken. NO MORE COKES OR soft drinks. I will drink juice and ice tea. I wanna be thin again. I will also talk with Nancy this week to get myself more trim.
I will shower and shave everyday even if it doesn't look like I need to shave I'll do it. Just to keep myself young. I will also get a haircut every 3 weeks.
So here is what my major plan. LOSE 30 LBS by October. Right now I weigh 227 I want to be 160 lbs. So everyday I will find ways to lose weight without starving myself. If I am hungry I will eat a vegetable or a fruit. Something to keep me from starving.
Yellow Nah its just Zoolander Pride.
What you got a problem with Yellow. My God its the Asian Derek Zoolanders.
Derek Zoolander. Male Model and Hero to the Dimwitted
I had to get a picture of Derek Zoolander for the post I am about to show you.
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