I figured I had a wonderful morning except I had a fight with Amy. I am still trying hard to figure out what I did wrong. Well I think I did a few things wrong like I had see Lise. The terrible witch of an ex. I also compaired Amy to Lise. Which was a terrible mistake,in my own part. I also did a few things I shouldn't do I had a pint of Smithwicks and a glass of water. I should of gotten a coke or something. I was so angry seeing Lise and Leslie that I took it out on Amy. So we are pretty much in non speaking terms for today. I also talked with these other ladies at the other end of the table, just talking with them. She said it was ok that I talked with them, but I can tell with her body language it was like No. I am so confused.
My heart feels funny after this fight, I know I have done a lot to hurt our relationship and I am trying to figure out what to do to fix it. I know I am in the dog house and the only way out is to fix it without sounding like I am fake.
Emotions are killing me, I have hard to figure out, part of me is sad, part of me is releaved. I don't know how to feel. I did to much or I did to little. I know I shouldn't let my emotions carry me and I shouldn't leash it out on the women I love. I did that before and that is why I was single for so long. I keep all my emotions inside and attack on people. I do that with every1 even my parents.
Well, ok aside from the fight I had a good morning I woke up and I started moving really funny I guess I had my head full with emotions. Well, can't figure out what to do, whether I should call her or should I let her call me.
The weather outside is hot and sticky and I am staying inside. It couldn't be much worse then it is now. I am staying in and going to grab my clothes out the dryer and fold them. Then I am going to shower and look nice to go stay in with my parents.
Well today Tulane is in the College World Series so I am going to watch the game with Dad. Pretty boring day. I am so torn between staying at home and feeling sad or going out. I think I am going to shower and shave.
I need to cheer myself up.