Ok Ok Ok

What an eventful week this has been.
I truly feel like things have begun as like normally as possible.
Random Generated Thoughts projected on to words on my thoughts journal.
I began to explore the depths of truths and uncovered the reality of whats missing. I discovered that I was missing happiness and surrounded by feeling of being confused. I began to feel weird. There was a void I was looking for and I had no real answer for it. I felt like I needed to solve that void with something but what. I began to examine myself with questions. Do I do this with humor, do I do it with philososphy , with my meditation. I begin to ask the questions of what or who the hell am I? I am still plagued with these thoughts. I have slowly felt my heart beating faster and faster.

I know I don't have all the answers but I am learning to find an answer. Today I am sitting here trying to understand me. What am I? I have an idea but I have no answer. I am confused with my thoughts. I am so to the point with my thoughts. Its like I am surrounded with a feeling of an immediate rush. I am an acting like an idiot in the world. I am not a stranger but I am not a fool but I am just being me.


What am I doing but writing. This is just my mind rambling with my medication but I feel still different. I feel very questionable. I am unable to answer my simple questions I am stuck in this mode what is wrong with me. Why do I feel trapped? I feel liked I am caged inside. I need an escape go back into a dillusional state or die trying. I am without boundries my mind is so full of energy its caving in.


My skin is really ready to leash out and ready to be primal. I am human but I feel like I should be a caveman. I feel like screaming but I have no voice. What the hell is wrong with me today. I started off without taking any wellbutrin and now i just feel so clear but its so wierd. What is this drama that I am waiting for and that I am still getting it. I am free to express myself.


Free my thoughts to explain this. This was just how my mind wrote today it has no meaning but to me. So if you don't need an explination just read it to see how I wrote a free base of ideas of words randomly picked to make sentences. Its my version of a lyrical device like Howl by Allen Ginsburg.

but anyway i am sorry i haven't written in a while. I will explain later how I feel.