A day can't be that boring or could it

What a boring Sunday this truly has been. I finished cleaning the house and taking a shower. So I am bored. There really is nothing on t.v. and I am to tired to really watch something. Well I am doing ok, I had a great night last night. I hung out with Warren and Kevin. The night was pretty fun, but they seemed like they were always tired after a few hours of getting there. I am so tired right now and my muscles are aching me. I am trying to tell myself to relax and not feel the pain that is wrapping me up.

I am glad that I went out last night , I thought I would be bored out of my mind and well I am stuck at home again on a boring Sunday afternoon. I could of gone to the grocery store but I would feel really sore just walking out. So I am going to wait. Well, last night A Beautiful Mind was on t.v. and I began to think of John Nash. That guy is truely a great guy and a hero to many people. John Nash maybe schizophrenic but he has learned to battle his demons and win the Nobel Prize in Economics.

He is truely a great person to look up to. I am tired and I am feeling really sleepy so I may just take a nap and wake up feeling less sore.

Well I have been really busy and I haven't had time to write much on the blog. I have plenty of great pictures of my trip that I will scan once I have my modem working again. Weather outside is hot and really awful. I wish I could enjoy the sun but I feel like the heat is preventing me from doing anything about it. I wish I could live in a colder or a sun free enviroment.

This week, I am planning on writing more on my new book I am meeting Nancy tommorow to talk with her about my problems. I am excited but at the same time I am doubtful anything will happen.

Well I am still trying to piece myself together and keep myself from going crazy but its hard for me.

I haven't seen Amy yet since I arrived back and I only spoke with her once on the phone. I am wondering what is going on with her. Its not like I am angry with her. I just want to know whats up with her. I am wondering if she even knew that I called last night. I did get home around 10 :30 and I started as if I couldn't sleep. I am thinking now that I can sleep I will sleep for at least 7 hours a night to get my body back into the same rhythm I did when I was in Kingsbury.

Meditation has been slowly taking its set backs I am trying harder but I feel like I am overly distracted by the smallest thing. I am trying to figure out what can I do to fix it. I am wondering maybe I should do it in my room. Its clean and it can be very peaceful. So my next meditation will be this evening before going to bed and I will try to do it without the constant interuptions that are plaguing my mind.

I am doing good mentally but physically I feel worse then before. I am having more cramps and pains and I feel really sick.

Whatelse. I am going to go out later today with my family to have a pitcher. I can't wait and want to show them my new meditation tools. Maybe if I go out with them I will feel less bored and less pain. (WHO KNOWS)

I am going to write more later but for now I am going to take a cat nap.

meow.

It has been a while.

Well I started this post a while back when I had to deal with the country house and now that I finally have a chance in writing on this blog a lot of things have happend. It has been a while but I decided to write something. Well I am starting to write a few things that I had a great deal to talk about. I am writing that I have internet access for a short period of time. I do know that writing has made me more aware of my surroundings and that I am stuck without internet due to a lack of modem. I am borrowing the modem from the free service I got from mom and dad and well I am enjoying the free time on this modem.

Well I was thinking of writing about my meditation which I had a hard time writing about because I was rarely doing it. Until today, when I resumed doing it. I wanted to spend time with Amy this week and it seems like she is always busy and I am stuck by myself. I feel really depressed that I can't spend time with her.

This weekend is supposed to be fun, but I just don't know what I going to do. I thought maybe if I hung out with Bjorn this weekend I would be unbored. But of course he is sick and Michael doesn't answer my calls. I am trying to figure out what can I do. I hate that I get to stuck being home. If I was stuck in a home I would be bored and really depressed. If I stayed at home it would be cheaper then going out. So its a win lose situation.

I finished watching Bring It On Again, the sequel to the Kirsten Dunst Eliza Dushku film that really isn't a sequel and was well so- so as a film. The only reason it was labled a sequel was that it had a cheerleading theme. Trust me, the only good reason the film was made was to cash on the popularity of Cheerleaders and film. The film was stupid but had a really sexy cast as cheerleaders and the renegade cheerleading team. My favorite character of Bring It On Again was the drama queen who was always depressed named Penolope. She was a cute redhead and the movie was well terrible. I thought Bring It On (the first one was bad) but it had Eliza so I had to give it some good marks. I love Eliza Dushku she looks a hell of a lot like Shan so I am always stunned when I see her. Eliza Dushku seems like a normal hot chick who wouldn't mind being with a writer thats me. I am just joking Alan if you are reading this blog again. that Eliza Dushku would go out with a schmoe like me. Its just a thought.

I am to write more another day.

My Thoughts.

Hey readers
yesterday was my 25th birthday. It was a great birthday and I didn`t know how exciting it would be. I drove from Kingsbury back to Montreal. On my birthday I met Mary-Claire Blais and we discussed my book. She seemed really happy to hear what I have done to improve the quality of the book. She also discussed my poetry and she was saying she would like a copy of at least 15 pages of my poems and that she would pass them to a poet friend who does poetry in New York and he hosts a poetry r I ead in the city. That to me sounds exciting and would love to do it. First of all I would need the money to afford such a trip. Once I have the money. I h ave been excited that I can do poetry reading at a real poetry place rather than at Helios. My thoughts are filled with joy and excitement. Well I have been working harder to see what I can do to enjoy my stay while in Montreal.

I am heading back to Houston tomorrow an d I am excited. I miss my bed and my home. I miss especially mom and dad. They probably miss me too. The weather I am not really going to enjoy. I am stuck with the heat and I am worried I will get sick and possibly be to weak to anything. That is what I loved about the country, the weather was never so hot I would die.

Well since being back in Montreal I have been sweating and feeling really icky. I just don`t want to do that while I am back in Houston. I felt earlier that I was going to have a heart attack cause of the silly humidity. I am going to miss my quiet meditations on the Meditation Rock and the peacefulness of the river in Montreal. I am hopefully going to find a peaceful solution to my meditation once I am back in H-town. I am pretty excited of heading back home finally. I can have my answers of some of the things I wanted to know. I can finally feel the hugs of my parents. I can enjoy the quality time I have with them. I can tell them how much I missed them. I can finally be comforted by my bed.

I can continue to frequent my blog once I am home. Well I will write more about my trip once I am back.

Hey I know again its been a while

Hey readers of the François Collins Blog and those who are wondering what is going on with me. Well I have been well without the internet and without time to really get to the basics of writing. I have been working on a trying to write and other things while I am in the country. I have been busy meditating and reading. Really. A few things have been really good to work with. On the subject with my book. Well on my birthday (this Tuesday) I am meeting Marie-Claire Blais to talk about my book and give her my pitch. I am in a way really nervous so I haven't really thought I could do it.

I am enjoying the countryside but at times it gets really boring just not doing anything without the internet. I have my own computer to write things but I think its better to post things here. Well I am enjoying Montreal, but I am also getting the stranger feeling that both me and my grandmother are getting old. She had to sit on every bench we saw and she was so frequently out of breathe, so was I after the last 4 benches.

I went to see a concert, at the park near her and boy did I feel like young it was full of geratrics. I never felt so bored at the concert. But I went cause my grandmother thought it would be a pleasure. The music, was in French, which I didn't have a problem understanding but I just thought the music was even terrible. I liked classic songs and music like Nat King Cole or Duke Ellington, but this was before there time. I do like some classic french songs from Edith Piaf and Fernandel and Jacques Brell but this was just crap. I told my grandmother I really felt out of place being so young and she even told me this was before her own time. So that says a lot for a woman who is 78.

While I was also in Montreal, 2 weeks ago I went to the Gay Pride Festival. That was pretty fun and all the gay guys looked like Malcolm. Tall with bald heads and with canes. The young gays were all like uptight preppy boys. It was just funny. I did feel out of my element, being straight, but I did enjoy seeing the hot lesbian women who were my age not the butch types who were mom's age. While at the festival, I did get an endless supply of condoms. Which of course, made me feel as if I was back in Ottawa and the Condom Fairy. (long story) but will tell it when I am back in Houston. But I have a lot of condoms one for every season as I told my own grandmother. She even laughed at the terrible joke. I was shocked.

I realized my grandmother and I have a lot of things in common, both of us feel like we are out of our own elements and that we sometimes don't get why people think this way or that way. My grandmother has really become an allies and she is a real friend for treating me as an equal, at times though she does have to give that motherly precaucion stuff that mom doesn't really do but tries to. She did sow my army jacket the patches I bought , so that was cool Now I can wear the jacket with my patches and look sharp. She also bought me my CanAm Pin that I was so looking for. So it looks cool on my jacket. The only downside of my grandmother is that she has slowly become slower in doing things and she won't change things. I guess I am kind of like that.

While I am spending the last two days with her I am going to make them best for her. So she will be happy to see me when she goes to Houston in November.

I am enjoying the countryside of Kingsbury. The mountains and the fresh clean air has really brighten my spirits and made me heavily enjoy the beauty of things. I do like that I am treated as a normal person and that I am not a member of the family but as a guest. The countryside and my rock where I have done my meditations has really been great. I find the weather at times unbelievably hot and the house has no Air Conditioning so I am stuck sweating like a pig. So I cool off in my room that has an electric fan and just plop on my comfy bed. I tend to sleep until 7 am by the time the sun hits the sheets its like oops I gotta get up. That is perfect for me, cause I need to get to the habit of getting up early so I can practice my meditation when I am in Houston before the humidity hits. The meditation I know this sounds stupid but it really works. I haven't had many achy muscles and I do feel more refreshed. Its not really a meditation but more of a dialogue with nature. I do this every morning and if I didn't do it in the morning I do it in the afternoon after I eat my lunch. The best part of my morning meditation is that I am totally at peace and though sometimes the flies drive me crazy with them buzzing all around me, I do close my eyes and try to relax. Its a simple thing I learned while reading the Dharma Bums.

I think I am becoming more spiritual while I have been here so I think that will surprise my parents when they see me. I won't be chanting around airports or going to be an extremist but more of an alert spirit and human. My head really does do wonders when I allow my mind to wonder. I still take a lot of medication but I am slowly learning that meditation has helped.

The downsides of being in the country is that I am usually bored and I get tired if I work to hard. I get this feeling that I am attached to something then ten minutes later I feel like boy that was boring. I tend to feel this way for a long time. The countryside is peaceful and the people I am staying with Therese and Stephane are really cool with me and they allow me to do my meditation without interupting them. I also have tried to help in what I could. Though I am enjoying my stay its kind of boring with there is no t.v. and listening to the same radio station everyday. I tend to realize yup I am in the country and I need to stretch.

I have been working on my project that I started but never finished when I was in Houston. My script. I spent half of yesterday writing at least 20 pages of script. Its pretty good and I am going to continue on Monday but today I am taking a break. Its the weekend, even though everyday seemed to be a weekend.

But today we are supposed to go the city of Sherbrooke which is supposed to be fun but I have a feeling I am going to be following them where ever they go and be stuck with an invisible kiddie leash. I want to explore the city myself and see what they have to offer.

Well I am going to take a break. I'll write more later.