my legs are numbs

I have terrible pains in my legs and I have terrible cramps everywhere else. What is really sad its all because of lupus. I hate this illness. I tried to walk to the Dollar store near my house which is only half a mile I couldn't walk a half a mile without feeling long winded and out of breath and stretched. The sharp pain in my back is killing me. I am tired and extremely sore. I know I shouldn't worry but with these pains there comes numbness everwhere in my arms and feet. Pins especially in the toes.

Well I tried to take a nap but I was woke up by my cellphone. Stupid cellphone. Like I have said before I wish I was able to walk or feel things under my feet without feeling cramps. I am tired as well.
I can't move my legs I feel like as if I am paralized. I am so numb. I feel as if i am having hot flashes some moments I am hot other moments I am hot other moments i am cold. Damn I don't know what to feel.

I once again feeling as if I am a prisoner of my own body, I can't go out anywhere, if I go somewhere I'll get sick and feel weak. If I stay I'll get cabin fever. So I am trapped. I can't move my muscles I can't do anything. I am bored I know I am whining but damn it get me out of this mess. I wish I lived in Alaska or Antartica. Yea its cold but at least its not hot and my body could handle the cold.

Maybe I should live back in Canada where I can smoke Marijuana so it can ease my muscle problems legally. Lupus is a severe medical condition and plus its cold there. Two pretty cool things that are great pluses in life. Down sizes of Canada. One Cigarettes are expensives and Close to family to interfere in my personal business. But hell, if I can work out a deal, maybe I can live in Ottawa. I loved Ottawa when i was a student and who knows I find it a city I can handle living. Plus its always a home away from home. Plus its an hour from Montreal, I don't have to visit the family when I want rather than see them all the time and they don't have to interfer in my business on every little detail. I will check out places in Ottawa and jobs there too. Maybe a computer job at Corel or work at the Sun or the other newspaper. But find a job in Ottawa. I know its just a cake dream but find something first. Show mom first. Show her a proposal. Explain to her why I want to do it, maybe work in Parliment or a lobbying firm for Lupus.

I will submit a resume and show mom what i plan on doing and ask her if she agrees if i should do this. Well I know this maybe a fantasy but I want to persue this dream and make it a reality. First I will try to find my resume that I worked with Paul, that guy from Montreal and rewrite it and create it myself and save it on my own computer. And show mom.

Well I am going to try to stretch legs. If it works I am going to walk a little. I'll write more later tonight and give you my views on the season finale of the Aprentice.