So shoot me,

Dearest Readers,

It has been a long time since I have written anything on this blog. Well a lot of things have happend since my last entry. First off I am sorry that I kept you guys out of the loop. Well I have been busy with holidays and me going to support groups. So when I do find time to write I get side-tracked and totally lose intrest. Well a few things have changed since my last post. First I have stopped drinking. Yeah I have stopped for now, a good 21 days since I last tasted alcohol. And you know what, it feels awesome. I have actually lost some weight and I am no longer as swollen as I used to be. Why I quit drinking is a choice I made. I realized that I could of been an alcoholic, but rather than admitting I have a problem, I decided to stop.

Well, aside from my abstinating of Alcohol. I have been busy being more socialable. I have been working on a new story idea. My latest idea is following or learning about the tailgate culture here in Houston. Doing so, I have followed people's tailgating and learned a few secrets that could be used for my next book. So I think. Well I think that so far, tailgating is basically fans who don't want to spend a lot of money on Beer inside the stadium.

Well, some tailgating things are great, while others I feel as if I am an outsider looking in.

So anyway, I have decided to follow tailgate. I have also been busy looking for a publisher. So far, I haven't one that really impresses me. I am still writing but I am mostly writing notes for my book.

Well, I have seen a few old friends that I haven't seen in ages and told them the news about my sobriety. I saw my first love, a few weeks ago, which was great except that I made a total ass out of myself. She wasn't mad, but I could tell that mom was. She is so understanding, Stephie. She is working so hard to get recognized in the fashion industry. She works for such prestigious cliental,that I am surprised that I am not seeing her on any of those glamour magazines.

Well, one thing that struck me with Stephanie, is that she is so relaxed and that she smells like lilac. Its a nice smell, but when she dresses up, when she meets clients, she looks really sexy. When its just the two of us,she dresses, Annie Hall like, wearing a tie and button shirt. It's kind of weird but she still looks good either way.
She asked me something that really stuck to me,she asked If I still had feelings for her. That question really made me think, do I? Well, she told me she had strong feelings for me but didn't know what to do. I told her I wish I had the answer quickily. My heart had told me, she was meant for me, but my brain can't stand the long distance part. So I had told her I needed to think it over.

Aside from Steph's arrival. I dealt with a major loss.A friend, I met at one of my support groups, who was battling, the same problems, that I faced died. It was a huge loss for me , cause she seemed to understand me more than anybody else. I didn't react to her death until a Sunday. Then I felt like my whole body was drained. That really hurt and I feared I may of stepped into psychosis. So I became alienated and oblivious to anyone or anything surrounding me. So I thought write about it.

Well anyway, My grandma is in town. I am happy that she is, that way I can raise hell but also be good at the same time. We are still the greatest of friends but sometime she acts like she is getting old. I never found that. Well I am thrilled she is spending X-mas with us. So is my uncle, so we can truly have a X-mas to remember.

I am ready to start my day. I hope that this is all I have to say for now. Once again, I am sorry for not writing anything sooner. I promise to write more the next time.
For now, bye.