Hey A Lot has happend.

Hey Readers,
Don't Think I have forgotten you all,but I have been busy. I have had a busy December. Well for starters my family is in town. Both my grandmother and uncle are here visiting me. I love that they are here but at times it gets to be boring. Plus I have been very sick. So what do you expect me to do. I am sick and I rarely get the chance to write on here since everytime I try to I am interupted by doing something else.

Well for one thing, I am glad I have the house finally to myself to write. I hope that everyone's Christmas was well. Mine was awesome. I finally got all 4 Superman Movies. So that is a great thing. Well, I have also got a lot of clothes. Which I needed since my wardrobe was beginning to look dull. I have some new underwear and t-shirts. So I am set for life. I also have been busy writing a new book. Yea I am excited I haven't really focused my time in writing my blog so I am sorry. My family has taken way to much of my time.

You know the silly thing, is that eventhough I am sick. I am trying quickily to feel better. I have had terrible headaches as well as pain in my jaw. :-( Well I am doing well. I have been thinking alot and I have been counting down the days till they are gone.

I mean I am sicker now that everyone is at the house and that I can't breathe because its so dry. Well I am still single. And I began to think how excited I am that I am going to start a new job, in 2 weeks. I am going to be a ghostwriter for a columnist. So I am going to have a lot of fun. Well I wish I was rich though, so I wouldn't have to ask about money but again I am still finincally broke. I am going to try something new, I am going to save my money and quit smoking. Yea I know I've said that before but seriously though, I am going to economize my money. I am going to save every cent I make. So I can be able to buy some clothes like I did last week.

I finally understand that Money doesn't grow on trees. Maybe with a new wardrobe I'll be able to find the mate for me.
Hehe!
Well I haven't doing much to change my behavior but I have changed my outlook on things. Its a great thing I guess. Well what else.

While I should be confident I am lacking a few things. Well I am tired and I want to go to sleep but I realize that could be just a sign of me being lazy. I don't think I am lazy but I just want to stay focused on my book. Or writing my blog. I have a lot of things to talk about. But I guess it would start with the fact that my uncle is in town. I am pretty excited that he is here but at times I feel as if he is acting lazier then me. I know that seems like a shock! But He is a great guy and I have fun with him but I don't really have anything in common with him. I thought I would but I was wrong.

Well, my grandmother is always cold and I am sweating bullets. Its a terrible situation, and to make things worse when I try at least to put the A.C. on she turns the heater to 89 to 86 and I get sick. My grandmother is a great person but just to much is to much.

Well, I am going to write some more later.

Shark on Roof

Just Imagine Explaining This Mess to your Insurance Company.

Gotta Love Office Space

My Hero Milton!

Cold !!

You know you hate the cold when this happens at work. Thanks Steph for the photo.

So shoot me,

Dearest Readers,

It has been a long time since I have written anything on this blog. Well a lot of things have happend since my last entry. First off I am sorry that I kept you guys out of the loop. Well I have been busy with holidays and me going to support groups. So when I do find time to write I get side-tracked and totally lose intrest. Well a few things have changed since my last post. First I have stopped drinking. Yeah I have stopped for now, a good 21 days since I last tasted alcohol. And you know what, it feels awesome. I have actually lost some weight and I am no longer as swollen as I used to be. Why I quit drinking is a choice I made. I realized that I could of been an alcoholic, but rather than admitting I have a problem, I decided to stop.

Well, aside from my abstinating of Alcohol. I have been busy being more socialable. I have been working on a new story idea. My latest idea is following or learning about the tailgate culture here in Houston. Doing so, I have followed people's tailgating and learned a few secrets that could be used for my next book. So I think. Well I think that so far, tailgating is basically fans who don't want to spend a lot of money on Beer inside the stadium.

Well, some tailgating things are great, while others I feel as if I am an outsider looking in.

So anyway, I have decided to follow tailgate. I have also been busy looking for a publisher. So far, I haven't one that really impresses me. I am still writing but I am mostly writing notes for my book.

Well, I have seen a few old friends that I haven't seen in ages and told them the news about my sobriety. I saw my first love, a few weeks ago, which was great except that I made a total ass out of myself. She wasn't mad, but I could tell that mom was. She is so understanding, Stephie. She is working so hard to get recognized in the fashion industry. She works for such prestigious cliental,that I am surprised that I am not seeing her on any of those glamour magazines.

Well, one thing that struck me with Stephanie, is that she is so relaxed and that she smells like lilac. Its a nice smell, but when she dresses up, when she meets clients, she looks really sexy. When its just the two of us,she dresses, Annie Hall like, wearing a tie and button shirt. It's kind of weird but she still looks good either way.
She asked me something that really stuck to me,she asked If I still had feelings for her. That question really made me think, do I? Well, she told me she had strong feelings for me but didn't know what to do. I told her I wish I had the answer quickily. My heart had told me, she was meant for me, but my brain can't stand the long distance part. So I had told her I needed to think it over.

Aside from Steph's arrival. I dealt with a major loss.A friend, I met at one of my support groups, who was battling, the same problems, that I faced died. It was a huge loss for me , cause she seemed to understand me more than anybody else. I didn't react to her death until a Sunday. Then I felt like my whole body was drained. That really hurt and I feared I may of stepped into psychosis. So I became alienated and oblivious to anyone or anything surrounding me. So I thought write about it.

Well anyway, My grandma is in town. I am happy that she is, that way I can raise hell but also be good at the same time. We are still the greatest of friends but sometime she acts like she is getting old. I never found that. Well I am thrilled she is spending X-mas with us. So is my uncle, so we can truly have a X-mas to remember.

I am ready to start my day. I hope that this is all I have to say for now. Once again, I am sorry for not writing anything sooner. I promise to write more the next time.
For now, bye.

A Day A Night A Whole Fiasco.

I first wanted to say that I had an eventful weekend. I of course figured I can write about it without fear of persecution and fear of getting beat up again. This past weekend, I was in my first fight. Of course I didn't fight back I just left. Some people just want to start trouble and even though the idea of fighting is a terrible idea. I didn't fight back. The whole fight was started by being with a crowd that didn't even want me there in the first place. I only went to the group because a friend called and told me to come. I realized that if I wasn't in the group with them, I wouldn't feel sore.

I knew when I arrived I didn't belong and I wanted to leave before getting there but I was being nice and thought it was ok to just visit the group. I learned that the group had one guy who was a total asshole and that he had a short fuse. The guy started by insulting me and basically belittling me and I would react calmly by just laughing it off and didn't think about it. Then I had to open my mouth and say jokingly Screw You. I had enough of being insulted and I thought he was going to laugh. Well he took that as an insult and started hitting me. I had told him I was simply joking and I didn't want to fight. Well, he didn't see my sense of humor and started punching me. I knew I could of fought back but I was worried I would get in trouble myself with the law. So I decided to let the guy hit me. Once I was on the ground, he started kicking me in the ground and hit my back. He seemed like he was happy that he fought me. And basically put me down. I never felt so angry in my life.

When I was getting up I told my friend, take me home. She took me home and I told her that I will never go back to a college football game on that campus especially if you call and invite me. I don't trust you and I know I don't belong with her clique. She seemed oblivious that I didn't feel comfortable there. I left and went home. I was to tired and especially sore. But I felt angry and sad that I didn't fight back.

I called my mom, to tell her about the fight and she told me I did the right thing. So that made me feel better but I felt as if I hurt my manhood. So I didn't think much of the fight, I told my dad when he came home from work that night and he also said I did the right thing but I still felt as if I should of at least had one swing.

Now its Monday and I still feel upset. I began to ask random people whether I did the right thing or not. A few said that I did the right thing while a small portion was undecided. So I figured it was easier not to dwell on it.

I just wish my emotions were able to control myself. Cause I feel extremely angry and really sad that I was in a fight and I didn't swing back.
But being a pacifist is who I am and thats what the Buddhists believe in. So I did right. Painfully, and true, If I swung back he would of got me more.

Oh well. I am still sore and won't be fully back to myself for a while. But for now, I am just going to avoid the people and the campus.
I am going to stick to Rice University.

Well,I will write more today but for now dad needs the computer.

Stewie is a Grown Man.

You agree with me. What the Duce. Stewie Griffin has grown up and was dry humped by actress Drew Barrymore. I always wondered what the hell could I say. This picture has made me laugh and I figured what the hell.

Taking a picture or at least how do I find the Flash.

How Do I Work This Camera

Luigi

Doesn't Luigi look curious to realized that his brother was a flammer.

Super gay Mario

This Picture is by far the strangest one I have ever seen. Take Gay Pride and Add it to Mario. This pic was submitted by my friend Jillian.

Youppi and Bob Gainey a match made in Heaven.

Well since the Expos left, Youppi needed a job, so how about being with Bob Gainey as a member of the Canadiens. We will always praise Youppi for he is so cool. And no Youppi is not muppet he is a really cool mascot. He is better than the Philli Phinatic. Youppi is one who makes me laugh and he is a good friend to me. So I thought what better way to welcome Youppi to the Canadiens hockey club by being with General Manager Gainey. Way to Go Youppi you rock. He will help the Habs clinche there Stanley Cup this year. So Go for the Gold with my hero, Youppi

Youppi

Fully Dressed is Youppi

i thought this was halarious with Ralph Wiggum. 

Thanks for my friend Ben for sending me this e-mail

Elmo has been spotted again. My friend Ben DeFrancisco has sent me a great picture of Elmo with Natalie Portman. Way to go Ben and I am posting your e-mail and this halarious pic and caption of Laura and Big Bird and Elmo

Glamour and Dogs.

I saw a show today "The Fabulous Life of Celebrity Pets" and I have been convinced that Maxine needs a look to make her look girly. I know that I should be happy that she is my puppy but I want or need to give her a makeover. I like the way she looks and maybe since she is my baby doghter but I want her to be pampered and look good for Saturday's football game. If I can get Maxine the look of AWW How Cute. know I will achieve something. I am thinking of what she needs is a wardrobe like Tinkerbell but without the whole glamour hoopla. I am thinking maybe I get her clothes for when she goes out with me. I mean she is fine, without any fancy clothes but something that shows people she is a pretty lady dog. I am thinking of what Maxine needs is a beautiful dress or a puppy raincoat if it rains.

I will check out clothes at PetSmart and see how much they are so I can makeover the dog. I was thinking of doing this while she gets groomed. I am thinking if she wore a hat or something adorable, then chicks will like that. I want dress her like my little baby. I have thought also of going to Resale shops and find some baby clothes for a 2 yr old. She would look cool and would fit my budget. I know what your all thinking but if she looks good I assume I will to. But I also know I shouldn't dress her just because she is a dog. But her look could change people's perspective on what I am as her father.

I know I shouldn't be making a big deal out of the thing but I am just thinking of the perspective. I always think she looks cute but with a girly thing she could look really adorable. I am just thinking of what should she look like and how she should behave if I take her out to the world. Its just a fantasy but I want her to represent me,and have girls all stare at her and think she is good.

Well aside from the Glamour of the dog, I am thinking of clothing myself I am trying to revamp my sense of style. I am thinking I want to look like someone my age rather than looking like a bum always wearing a T-shirt and jeans. I want to look modern and 25. I have many t-shirts and I always look sloppy even if the shirt is clean. I have to think of ways to change my style without going over the budget. I have a large selection of dress shirts and jeans but I want something that can easily designed for a modern hot male like me. I am thinking I should start Ironing my clothes once they are out of the dryer,but I am thinking of what can I do. I also have to shave everyday and wear better socks then the socks I have normally. I realize that I shouldn't over do my new look but I just want to stop being single and look good at the same time. I am trying to figure out what is a great look for me. I have finally lost the weight that was bulging me and I am eating right but I just want something that makes me look hot. I have seen so many average looking people get hot women and I feel envious. Its just me but I am tired of looking plain. I am trying to find something that looks good. I hate that I feel ugly with a world of pretty people but thats me.

I sometimes explore myself and wonder do I have the right look. I tend to neglect the fact that sometimes my look is that of a yucky man. I also realize I have to much body hair but I don't want to shave my whole body but I just want to be clean cut and look good. Its just a personal belief I have. I also want to stop having black heads on my nose and have a good haircut. I am trying to think of what and how I should look. I want to look like a GQ model but right now I look like a D&D Quarterly. I am just trying to find something I can do to look good. I have thought of ways to change my look and afford good clothes to match the body. Hmm! I can quit smoking,but its hard. I am also trying to find ways to quit without killing me. I have ideas but I am trying to solve the issue. Once I quit smoking maybe the tan on my hand will fade away. I doubt it,but I am just seeking some solution to help quit. I hate to that I am so image conscious but I hate being single.

Well anyway, I am going to start a new project today and I will keep you up to date on it.

Again a thought.

Jack Kerouac and François

Hey readers,
I have thought of this before and have mentioned in previous entries that I am the Kerouac incarnate. Jack and I seem to find more paralles then before. I have slowly discovered that Kerouac has taken over my life and that we are so closely similar. I figured that once I get my book published I will need to have a group of bizarre poets and hang out with them just to get my way across. I figured that Jack and I have another thing in common, Kerouac's mother was named Gabrelle mine is Danielle freaky. Both Jack and I don't drive but we both know how to. We are both severe drunks who are friends with some poets. I figured that Kerouac and I have a few other things, we both seek the wisdom of something higher up. He has been a great source and role model for me. I have always admired Jack and I began to explore more about him and found that he too was Mentally Ill. I find these similarities and that I am closely related to Kerouac then I thought.

I can easily dub myself the NEXT Kerouac. I joked with my friends that I am possibly an idealist but the more I look into meditation and rencarnation. I am slowly believing that I am a closely an idealist like Jean Louis. Its ideal that it could be the similarities but I find these similarities closer to me then usual. I think if I put my imagination together I can find that Neal Cassidy could closely be Michael. But I haven't really pictured the two but I will examine further.

I began to explore the scopes of aggie jokes

I have a great friend, two of them actually who both went to Texas A&M and well they figured they were both smart enough to leave because of that wimpy storm Hurricane Rita. Both of them also figured out that my best friend is at U.T. so they sent him a copy of this halarious picture of Aggie Education really screwing up.

So when you figure out the two dumb things about Aggies, come to realize that U.T. fans will have more fuel to add to the bonfire.

Trust Me A&M may be very good education but they should stop and think before they post plywood.

Elmo Contest take pictures and find pictures of Elmo.

Elmo and Weird Al Yancovic
Kick off the new contest. Where and who is with Elmo?

Some people have asked me what happend to the weekly wacky caption contests and well I haven't had time to find any and I have been busy working.

So I have found a new way to do it. I have created Where or Who's with Elmo. Elmo you know the lovable Seasme Street Muppet who loves to be tickled. Well now we have it. The first picture is of Weird Al and Elmo.

Wereceived a few funny pictures that I thought were aptly approperate to put on
the blog. Today I have finally saw one of the strangest Elmo celebrity sightings
and I have a picture of Elmo with Weird Al. I really think the picture is to
weird to even for me and Weird Al but hey its an Elmo sighting so any pictures
of Elmo is worth posting. So I am creating a new portion of the Where is Elmo
now. If you have a picture of Elmo feel free to e-mail it to me and I will post
it once I have it. For now the first picture is Elmo and Weird Al Yancovic I
have.

This kicks off the beginning of my new picture contests who have been seen with Elmo. I figured its a great way to find many other fans of the lovable muppet. If you have pictures of other muppet characters and celebs or just you you can also send them in to. So begin with Where and Who Is Elmo with?

Contest begin starting October 5th and ends January 5th 2006

Ok Ok Ok

What an eventful week this has been.
I truly feel like things have begun as like normally as possible.
Random Generated Thoughts projected on to words on my thoughts journal.
I began to explore the depths of truths and uncovered the reality of whats missing. I discovered that I was missing happiness and surrounded by feeling of being confused. I began to feel weird. There was a void I was looking for and I had no real answer for it. I felt like I needed to solve that void with something but what. I began to examine myself with questions. Do I do this with humor, do I do it with philososphy , with my meditation. I begin to ask the questions of what or who the hell am I? I am still plagued with these thoughts. I have slowly felt my heart beating faster and faster.

I know I don't have all the answers but I am learning to find an answer. Today I am sitting here trying to understand me. What am I? I have an idea but I have no answer. I am confused with my thoughts. I am so to the point with my thoughts. Its like I am surrounded with a feeling of an immediate rush. I am an acting like an idiot in the world. I am not a stranger but I am not a fool but I am just being me.


What am I doing but writing. This is just my mind rambling with my medication but I feel still different. I feel very questionable. I am unable to answer my simple questions I am stuck in this mode what is wrong with me. Why do I feel trapped? I feel liked I am caged inside. I need an escape go back into a dillusional state or die trying. I am without boundries my mind is so full of energy its caving in.


My skin is really ready to leash out and ready to be primal. I am human but I feel like I should be a caveman. I feel like screaming but I have no voice. What the hell is wrong with me today. I started off without taking any wellbutrin and now i just feel so clear but its so wierd. What is this drama that I am waiting for and that I am still getting it. I am free to express myself.


Free my thoughts to explain this. This was just how my mind wrote today it has no meaning but to me. So if you don't need an explination just read it to see how I wrote a free base of ideas of words randomly picked to make sentences. Its my version of a lyrical device like Howl by Allen Ginsburg.

but anyway i am sorry i haven't written in a while. I will explain later how I feel.

I began to start my job.

I have been working on taking pictures of before the storm and I have finished two rolls of film. It made me think of the John Waters Film Pecker. Which I am watching right now. Pecker is a great comedy even though I do find most of Waters films sick and demented here the film seems normal and just bizarre.

Well the storm is about to hit in a few hours and we are still staying in Houston. The mass media has said that this is a terrible thing going to happen. I am beginning to think if I take a lot of pictures maybe one day they will be printed. I came across a few pictures of Dad's boss Patricia Hearst and I am thinking I should do articles for another Hearst newspaper just like dad but I am so focused on writing stories on these pictures. I figured my talent is used in the two mediums that I am good at. Photography and writing. If I do well with one I can always use the other to help build my career.

I am mostly a digital photographer but I can use regular cameras. I just think if I found that digital is easier to use for the fact there is no darkrooms. I had so much trouble working in a dark room. So I would let professionals take care of that or the local drug store.

I guess I am going to work on taking more pictures. One of my favorite pictures is the one of Patty Hearst with a gun. I think I want to aim at the image. I want to have a career of web based photography.

Hey you always wondered why am I bloggist, this cool book I just finished reviewing could possibly explain the whole reason.
Reporters Without Borders on Blogging Anonymously Reports Without Borders has shipped a free guide for "Bloggers and Cyber-Dissidents" on publishing anonymously without getting fired, imprisoned or executed.

Bloggers need to be anonymous when they are putting out information that risks their safety. The cyber-police are watching and have become expert at tracking down "trouble- makers." This handbook gives advice on how to post material without revealing who you are ("How to blog anonymously," by Ethan Zuckerman). It's best of course to have the technical skills to be anonymous online, but following a few simple rules can sometimes do the trick. This advice is of course not for those (terrorists, racketeers or pedophiles) who use the Internet to commit crimes. The handbook is simply to help bloggers encountering opposition because of what they write to maintain their freedom of expression. However, the main problem for a blogger, even under a repressive regime, isn't security. It's about getting the blog known, finding an audience. A blog without any readers won't worry the powers-that-be, but what's the point of it? This handbook makes technical suggestions to make sure a blog gets picked up by the major search-engines (the article by Olivier Andrieu), and gives some more "journalistic" tips about this ("What really makes a blog shine," by Mark Glaser).
Some bloggers face the problem of filtering. Most authoritarian regimes now have the technical means to censor the Internet. In Cuba or Vietnam, you won't be able to access websites that criticise the government or expose corruption or talk about human rights abuses. So-called "illegal" and "subversive" content is automatically blocked by filters. But all bloggers need free access to all sites and to the blogosphere or the content of their blogs will become irrelevant


Being a freelance journalist, I always tend to find a great story. This week, I am working on Hurricane Rita, which is supposed to hit Houston or Galveston later this week. Matter of fact, this story is a great idea focus on whats life on a hurricane path. I started off thinking maybe the storm wouldn't hit Houston but now I am listening to a bombardment of stories saying the storm is near and I feel more confused. Should I rely on the main stream media or should I still believe the storm won't hit us. That to me is a matter of discussion. I will discuss as soon as possible hopefully we will have power soon.

So it has been a long time.

Well for starters I am happy that I finally have the chance to post a blog. I have been busy with working with NOAH and with my new job. I kind of like my new job but I am still questionable about whats going on. I am doing well health wise. The weather is a bit hot and I still am stuck being inside but I am learning to accept it slowly.

So I am doing a lot of thinking and well let me tell you about my new job. My job entitles me to follow around people and get there pictures done. Its basically its find actractive people and ask them to pose for a picture for a major magazine. I love the job because it helps connect with a Houston's cool people. The job at times seems like its so boring but I am really working hard in keeping the job. The only down side of the job that I've found is sometimes people are skeptical of getting there pictures taken. I am learning the ropes so I can eventually become one of the photographers. I am learning that my job has become simple and easy to handle. I work mostly on the weekends which is great so I can focus on my Duties at NOAH. The job seems ideal but at times it feels like the job I do at NOAH doesn't mean anything and that I can leave it alone and ignore it.

Right now, I am at home writing.Watching the Texans vrs Steelers I am pretty sure that the Texans will lose but it seems like a game worth watching. Maybe I should pull for my hometown team but I am still doubtful. I am pretty excited that I am able to feel better even though part of me wishes I could go outside. I am going to try to figure out what can I do today. I am learning to save my money for this weekend. I am thinking whats a good way to save my money. I took some pictures that I am going to load up. And once I am connected on my computer I will show them to you all.

Well I am going to start writing my release today so I will write back another time. Whenever that will be.

It has been a long week.

what a long time since I have written something. I have for once been feeling like I have done some of the stupid things in life and every time I feel like I have done something right I manage to take a dumb ass approach to things. I for one I have felt like things are finally back to normal. I have been working on my project and well the project has somewhat overwhelmed me. I am doing something rather than feeling awful about it. I have learned about human structure and behavoiral patterns. What makes things easy is that I am not the only one to feel this sudden burst of stupidity my own parents have too.

Last week, I was bombarded with media coverage of the Hurricane and I was feeling guilty that I wasn't doing anything to help. I felt that somewhat helpless and I needed to do something but what could I do without being sick. For one thing if I went to the Astrodome, I would of gotten sick and feel really tired real quick. I decided to put my best foot forward and help the Hurricane Victims in the best way I know how. By helping musicians. New Orleans has a great deal of musicians and well they need help finding new places to live and shelter. So I decided to help the group NOAH. Which has been a great relief and well that feeling of shame has slowly become a feeling of accomplishing something. I began by going to there meeting and when they assigned people to do things, I signed up to be the Logistic Coordinator. Sounds like something I can do, create lists and call people, I have done that for a while and well I am glad that I have assigned myself to do it. As logistic coordinator, I still have no idea what to expect and how to do most of the things. I have been told to wait for more information before I start doing the project. I am already working on no plan. How far can I go without a plan? Makes me think of Shrub,he had no plan when he attacked Iraq so pretty much I am playing it by ear. Terrible example, but its what I am leading to.

Speaking of doing a job that I have no idea what I am doing, I am also working on borrowed computers. Not fun when my own laptop is being repaired. So again, I am doing work half/ass. The best part of my job of helping people is that I feel busy and it keeps me from feeling guilty. Being Dumb though thats just something I have been focusing on for a while.

Last week, I went to the UH Oregon game and well I decided to find a group who would accept me. I didn't really find a group nor did I feel like I was doing anything to be part of a group, but I still felt like I should TRY to find some people for a story I am writing. Well while at the tailgate I ran into a group of fraternity brothers from the Phi Delta Theta and they told me a little bit of there fraternity and there troubles and well I thought ok these people sound like people I can easily relate to. I was part of a group that wasn't really accepted and was a trouble maker and I made average grades so I thought heck, just hang out with them and see what happens. Well at the tailgate everything was great and I sort of felt hey these guys aren't so bad till I met one guy who really hated outsiders and he really had a short temper. I felt threatened by this guy and I didn't want to step on anybody's toes but I had to figure out what is going on. I later read a story about this particular fraternity and there practices and read that the same guy with a short fuse was arrested for Assault. I then realized thank god I left. So I knew I didn't belong with a group of deliquents. Trying hard to piece these things together I learned quickily that I had to solve my story quickly. I called a few of the brothers who accepted me and told them I am working on a story about Fraternity Culture in America., They seemed interested and I told them it would be a great idea to hear there imput. After all, I had to be fair, I couldn't think of a fraternity story without talking with a fraternity. So I decided to wait out and organize my ideas and see what can I say without hurting anyone. Well tomorrow I will imbark on the first leg of the story. Getting to know if they will help me. I am still scared to death that they will hurt me and beat me up, but I want to accomplish this story before Holliween.
So if I have a few broken bones and fractures, you know the story didn't run so well.
Scared yes,motivated yes but deciding to do it for the fun of a great story who knows. I will be happy once its published.
I will let you the blog readers be the first to read the story.
Then I will send it out to the brothers. Who knows it maybe a great time to meet new people.

Well I am going to continue with working with NOAH till I have an answer.

How Do I Confess of something. I didn't really do so badly.

Today, my parents went out to the store and went to the gallery. I received 20. b ucks yesterday as part of my allowance. Well I told my mom I had a ride home yesterday from J.D. but I decided to take a cab home. I could of waited for dad afterwork but I realized,I don't think he would of wanted to give me a ride after working. So I spent my allowance on a cab ride back. I know, I should of at least felt better if I took a cab home since if I left with Jillian, I would of been home around 5 am. I didn't feel like waiting for that long. So if I tell them the truth maybe they will understand.I was invited to spend the night at her place but I had to take my meds so I left. I had one of those terrible withdrawn feelings, that happen when I am without my meds for so long.

The cab cost me 22.50 I gave Jaba (the cab driver) a 2 dollar tip. He was a nice guy, but I didn't do anything wrong but I feel like that if I tell my parents that I spent my money on a cab they would lecture me,saying you know you could of gotten a ride from one of us. I left at exactaly 11:45 before midnight when the rate would be increased by a dollar. I feel like that yes, I spent my money on a cab. I should of done better with my money but I was thinking it was safer than riding METRO plus walking downtown to the Chron building wouldn't be safe either. So I decided it was easier to take a cab.

I am planning on telling my parents the truth and see if they will give me some pity. I am trying to think, what can I do to ease my finaicial debt.

Well, anyway, i am sorry that I haven't written in a while. A lot of things have been going on. For starters, Katrina has been a major problem. The hurricane , has totally wiped out New Orleans and every refugee is staying in the Houston area. Our neighborhood has been the refugee camp. Its really sad that these people lost everything. I begin to think of Aunt Betty and Uncle Randy who also lost everything. I pray that they can get back on there feet and move on. The news is covering the story 24/7 and well I am seeing the same footage I saw a day ago. The whole storm has effected everyone I know personally. I myself am sad seeing those refugees and people who haven't showered or gotten the right medical treatment due to lack of supplies. The storm although its overwith has greatly impacted all of us.

Dad even though he won't admit it, is very depressed that he lost the city he calls home. He struggles everyday listening to the news to hear whats the latest. I know that deep inside Dad wants to cry and release his frustration,but he is masking it very well so no one knows when he will snap. I am always out of the way so I don't do anything to trigger his depression. We are acting like we are in Pins & Needles. The weather in Houston has become very humid and hot so I have resulted in staying inside or in my office. With the humidity its I am having trouble breathing and I have stomach aches worse than before. The humidity is no picnic for the refugees either.
I am doing my share to help, organize a fundrasier to help the victims. Since I can't help them personally without getting sick, doing this will help me a lot more. Well, I am going to reorganize my closet. I will write more when I have the chance.

A day can't be that boring or could it

What a boring Sunday this truly has been. I finished cleaning the house and taking a shower. So I am bored. There really is nothing on t.v. and I am to tired to really watch something. Well I am doing ok, I had a great night last night. I hung out with Warren and Kevin. The night was pretty fun, but they seemed like they were always tired after a few hours of getting there. I am so tired right now and my muscles are aching me. I am trying to tell myself to relax and not feel the pain that is wrapping me up.

I am glad that I went out last night , I thought I would be bored out of my mind and well I am stuck at home again on a boring Sunday afternoon. I could of gone to the grocery store but I would feel really sore just walking out. So I am going to wait. Well, last night A Beautiful Mind was on t.v. and I began to think of John Nash. That guy is truely a great guy and a hero to many people. John Nash maybe schizophrenic but he has learned to battle his demons and win the Nobel Prize in Economics.

He is truely a great person to look up to. I am tired and I am feeling really sleepy so I may just take a nap and wake up feeling less sore.

Well I have been really busy and I haven't had time to write much on the blog. I have plenty of great pictures of my trip that I will scan once I have my modem working again. Weather outside is hot and really awful. I wish I could enjoy the sun but I feel like the heat is preventing me from doing anything about it. I wish I could live in a colder or a sun free enviroment.

This week, I am planning on writing more on my new book I am meeting Nancy tommorow to talk with her about my problems. I am excited but at the same time I am doubtful anything will happen.

Well I am still trying to piece myself together and keep myself from going crazy but its hard for me.

I haven't seen Amy yet since I arrived back and I only spoke with her once on the phone. I am wondering what is going on with her. Its not like I am angry with her. I just want to know whats up with her. I am wondering if she even knew that I called last night. I did get home around 10 :30 and I started as if I couldn't sleep. I am thinking now that I can sleep I will sleep for at least 7 hours a night to get my body back into the same rhythm I did when I was in Kingsbury.

Meditation has been slowly taking its set backs I am trying harder but I feel like I am overly distracted by the smallest thing. I am trying to figure out what can I do to fix it. I am wondering maybe I should do it in my room. Its clean and it can be very peaceful. So my next meditation will be this evening before going to bed and I will try to do it without the constant interuptions that are plaguing my mind.

I am doing good mentally but physically I feel worse then before. I am having more cramps and pains and I feel really sick.

Whatelse. I am going to go out later today with my family to have a pitcher. I can't wait and want to show them my new meditation tools. Maybe if I go out with them I will feel less bored and less pain. (WHO KNOWS)

I am going to write more later but for now I am going to take a cat nap.

meow.

It has been a while.

Well I started this post a while back when I had to deal with the country house and now that I finally have a chance in writing on this blog a lot of things have happend. It has been a while but I decided to write something. Well I am starting to write a few things that I had a great deal to talk about. I am writing that I have internet access for a short period of time. I do know that writing has made me more aware of my surroundings and that I am stuck without internet due to a lack of modem. I am borrowing the modem from the free service I got from mom and dad and well I am enjoying the free time on this modem.

Well I was thinking of writing about my meditation which I had a hard time writing about because I was rarely doing it. Until today, when I resumed doing it. I wanted to spend time with Amy this week and it seems like she is always busy and I am stuck by myself. I feel really depressed that I can't spend time with her.

This weekend is supposed to be fun, but I just don't know what I going to do. I thought maybe if I hung out with Bjorn this weekend I would be unbored. But of course he is sick and Michael doesn't answer my calls. I am trying to figure out what can I do. I hate that I get to stuck being home. If I was stuck in a home I would be bored and really depressed. If I stayed at home it would be cheaper then going out. So its a win lose situation.

I finished watching Bring It On Again, the sequel to the Kirsten Dunst Eliza Dushku film that really isn't a sequel and was well so- so as a film. The only reason it was labled a sequel was that it had a cheerleading theme. Trust me, the only good reason the film was made was to cash on the popularity of Cheerleaders and film. The film was stupid but had a really sexy cast as cheerleaders and the renegade cheerleading team. My favorite character of Bring It On Again was the drama queen who was always depressed named Penolope. She was a cute redhead and the movie was well terrible. I thought Bring It On (the first one was bad) but it had Eliza so I had to give it some good marks. I love Eliza Dushku she looks a hell of a lot like Shan so I am always stunned when I see her. Eliza Dushku seems like a normal hot chick who wouldn't mind being with a writer thats me. I am just joking Alan if you are reading this blog again. that Eliza Dushku would go out with a schmoe like me. Its just a thought.

I am to write more another day.

My Thoughts.

Hey readers
yesterday was my 25th birthday. It was a great birthday and I didn`t know how exciting it would be. I drove from Kingsbury back to Montreal. On my birthday I met Mary-Claire Blais and we discussed my book. She seemed really happy to hear what I have done to improve the quality of the book. She also discussed my poetry and she was saying she would like a copy of at least 15 pages of my poems and that she would pass them to a poet friend who does poetry in New York and he hosts a poetry r I ead in the city. That to me sounds exciting and would love to do it. First of all I would need the money to afford such a trip. Once I have the money. I h ave been excited that I can do poetry reading at a real poetry place rather than at Helios. My thoughts are filled with joy and excitement. Well I have been working harder to see what I can do to enjoy my stay while in Montreal.

I am heading back to Houston tomorrow an d I am excited. I miss my bed and my home. I miss especially mom and dad. They probably miss me too. The weather I am not really going to enjoy. I am stuck with the heat and I am worried I will get sick and possibly be to weak to anything. That is what I loved about the country, the weather was never so hot I would die.

Well since being back in Montreal I have been sweating and feeling really icky. I just don`t want to do that while I am back in Houston. I felt earlier that I was going to have a heart attack cause of the silly humidity. I am going to miss my quiet meditations on the Meditation Rock and the peacefulness of the river in Montreal. I am hopefully going to find a peaceful solution to my meditation once I am back in H-town. I am pretty excited of heading back home finally. I can have my answers of some of the things I wanted to know. I can finally feel the hugs of my parents. I can enjoy the quality time I have with them. I can tell them how much I missed them. I can finally be comforted by my bed.

I can continue to frequent my blog once I am home. Well I will write more about my trip once I am back.

Hey I know again its been a while

Hey readers of the François Collins Blog and those who are wondering what is going on with me. Well I have been well without the internet and without time to really get to the basics of writing. I have been working on a trying to write and other things while I am in the country. I have been busy meditating and reading. Really. A few things have been really good to work with. On the subject with my book. Well on my birthday (this Tuesday) I am meeting Marie-Claire Blais to talk about my book and give her my pitch. I am in a way really nervous so I haven't really thought I could do it.

I am enjoying the countryside but at times it gets really boring just not doing anything without the internet. I have my own computer to write things but I think its better to post things here. Well I am enjoying Montreal, but I am also getting the stranger feeling that both me and my grandmother are getting old. She had to sit on every bench we saw and she was so frequently out of breathe, so was I after the last 4 benches.

I went to see a concert, at the park near her and boy did I feel like young it was full of geratrics. I never felt so bored at the concert. But I went cause my grandmother thought it would be a pleasure. The music, was in French, which I didn't have a problem understanding but I just thought the music was even terrible. I liked classic songs and music like Nat King Cole or Duke Ellington, but this was before there time. I do like some classic french songs from Edith Piaf and Fernandel and Jacques Brell but this was just crap. I told my grandmother I really felt out of place being so young and she even told me this was before her own time. So that says a lot for a woman who is 78.

While I was also in Montreal, 2 weeks ago I went to the Gay Pride Festival. That was pretty fun and all the gay guys looked like Malcolm. Tall with bald heads and with canes. The young gays were all like uptight preppy boys. It was just funny. I did feel out of my element, being straight, but I did enjoy seeing the hot lesbian women who were my age not the butch types who were mom's age. While at the festival, I did get an endless supply of condoms. Which of course, made me feel as if I was back in Ottawa and the Condom Fairy. (long story) but will tell it when I am back in Houston. But I have a lot of condoms one for every season as I told my own grandmother. She even laughed at the terrible joke. I was shocked.

I realized my grandmother and I have a lot of things in common, both of us feel like we are out of our own elements and that we sometimes don't get why people think this way or that way. My grandmother has really become an allies and she is a real friend for treating me as an equal, at times though she does have to give that motherly precaucion stuff that mom doesn't really do but tries to. She did sow my army jacket the patches I bought , so that was cool Now I can wear the jacket with my patches and look sharp. She also bought me my CanAm Pin that I was so looking for. So it looks cool on my jacket. The only downside of my grandmother is that she has slowly become slower in doing things and she won't change things. I guess I am kind of like that.

While I am spending the last two days with her I am going to make them best for her. So she will be happy to see me when she goes to Houston in November.

I am enjoying the countryside of Kingsbury. The mountains and the fresh clean air has really brighten my spirits and made me heavily enjoy the beauty of things. I do like that I am treated as a normal person and that I am not a member of the family but as a guest. The countryside and my rock where I have done my meditations has really been great. I find the weather at times unbelievably hot and the house has no Air Conditioning so I am stuck sweating like a pig. So I cool off in my room that has an electric fan and just plop on my comfy bed. I tend to sleep until 7 am by the time the sun hits the sheets its like oops I gotta get up. That is perfect for me, cause I need to get to the habit of getting up early so I can practice my meditation when I am in Houston before the humidity hits. The meditation I know this sounds stupid but it really works. I haven't had many achy muscles and I do feel more refreshed. Its not really a meditation but more of a dialogue with nature. I do this every morning and if I didn't do it in the morning I do it in the afternoon after I eat my lunch. The best part of my morning meditation is that I am totally at peace and though sometimes the flies drive me crazy with them buzzing all around me, I do close my eyes and try to relax. Its a simple thing I learned while reading the Dharma Bums.

I think I am becoming more spiritual while I have been here so I think that will surprise my parents when they see me. I won't be chanting around airports or going to be an extremist but more of an alert spirit and human. My head really does do wonders when I allow my mind to wonder. I still take a lot of medication but I am slowly learning that meditation has helped.

The downsides of being in the country is that I am usually bored and I get tired if I work to hard. I get this feeling that I am attached to something then ten minutes later I feel like boy that was boring. I tend to feel this way for a long time. The countryside is peaceful and the people I am staying with Therese and Stephane are really cool with me and they allow me to do my meditation without interupting them. I also have tried to help in what I could. Though I am enjoying my stay its kind of boring with there is no t.v. and listening to the same radio station everyday. I tend to realize yup I am in the country and I need to stretch.

I have been working on my project that I started but never finished when I was in Houston. My script. I spent half of yesterday writing at least 20 pages of script. Its pretty good and I am going to continue on Monday but today I am taking a break. Its the weekend, even though everyday seemed to be a weekend.

But today we are supposed to go the city of Sherbrooke which is supposed to be fun but I have a feeling I am going to be following them where ever they go and be stuck with an invisible kiddie leash. I want to explore the city myself and see what they have to offer.

Well I am going to take a break. I'll write more later.

A LONG TIME SINCE I LAST POSTED

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Hello you people.

Well I know first off I am sorry for not written in nearly a month or so but a lot of things have been happening and well I haven`t had the time to write. Plus I haven`t had the internet either so I have been deprived from writing. Well a lot of things have happend since I last wrote. Wefll for starters I am back in Canada after a few weeks of being stuck in the heat of Houston. A few things have happend, I have been so busy that I totally lost track of time and everything else. I have been staying at both my uncle`s and in the countryside of Quebec. The country is a total pleasure and the weather though has been hot.

I have also become more focus on my faith in Buddhism. So I am totally stuck in the paradime of being secluded from the world and being without the internet.
A few things that are going well and I have been extremely busy thinking of ways to explain I am sorry for not written in ages. While I am here in Canada, I am meeting Marie-Claire Blais, to discuss my book and whether or not it will be published. I am pretty excited but also nervous. Well I am doing ok mentally and have developed more of a spiritualistic attitude after reading Kerouac`s book The Dharma Bums.

The book I read for a few days opened my eyes to the world around me and I have slowly become aware of my surroundings. The book has also helped me understand more of my Buddhist faith. So I can say that I enjoyed the book. I also finished reading a book about Albert Camus and Jean-Paul Satre, the book though was a bit bias on Satre`s part it also was a good discussion to have with both my parents.

I also began reading a book about TM (TRANSISTANTIONAL MEDITATION) which was good but I already learned most of the tricks to TM and I didn`t really need another explinational book. I thought the book would help spiritualy but it was pretty boring. I thought if I learned TM and SCI (Science of Creative Intelligence) I could practice what I learned and teach others, but it was so boring I decided to change my mind.

But anyway, back to my Buddhism, I have a mini Buddha that I got in Chinatown Montréal and I love it. It helps me conscientrate on myself and my spiritual conscious. I can`t wait to tell my mom that I have become more aware of the Spiritualistic of life and that I am not as stressed as I was do to meditation and solidarity in the countryside. Being a Buddhist Catholic does make more sense now then it did before.

Well, I am hoping I still remain this positive when I return back to Houston. My birthday is coming up and I can`t wait. I still don`t know what I am going to do. It is going to be a big one this year 25. I am no longer a baby and yet now I am totally defined as an adult. So that is keeping me from getting angry. I am excited about my up coming birthday and yet I am also wondering what I am going to do.

I am also coming back to Montréal on Friday and stay with my grandmother which will be fun. I am planning on returning back to Chinatown and find some other things to embrace the Eastern Culture. Boy am I excited. Since doing meditation, my body has less pains then before and with the heat I am still skeptical of going outside.

I hope to enjoy my time sitting and thinking. I am going to try to practice the mantra on the flight back.

Well, anyway, I am going to shower now and hopefully I`ll feel cleaner and then I`ll walk to Chinatown and see how much insense sticks are. So I can get them next week.

Once again I am sorry for not written in a while but that will explained all.

What a day!

Boy I can't believe its only 3:55 and I feel like I haven't accomplished one goal in my things I wanted to do today. I know I should just relax but its kind of freaky that I haven't done much lately. Things are pretty well done for today. I am a bit sleepy but I am not tired so I don't want to nap. The weather outside is again hot so that sucks. Mom and Dad left to go to the store and I didn't really want to go. So of course I chose to stay home and well think. To think I have nothing really important matters to think about just have to fix things around the house and clean the bathroom again. Sure small stuff like that but heck I can do it later.

This is a really boring Saturday. I can't get a hold of anybody. I feel like I am going to spend again more time with my family then need be. Which can be both a positive by that I can enjoy a free home cooked meal and spending it talking with my family about stuff. But a negative side, I am stuck at home again on a Saturday. Damn I hate being bored.

Well, my batteries are running low on my lap top so its always kind of dark typing. Last night I spent it at home, which was fun and relaxing but some days I just feel like I should go out on my own and have fun without worrying so much. I am going to talk it over with my parents to see if I can go out tonight on my own after dinner. I know my mom will say they'll take me, but I want to be able to think clearly and be on my own just once.

Well I am heading to Montreal in a few days and I can't wait. I am going to relax and enjoy the time I am there. I am tired of Houston and its becoming boring. I wonder what I am going to do there. I think I am going to read and write. Hmm! I hate that I feel so weak in the heat. I wish I knew where the hell Bjorn was so I can take him to Sliders. I may try to convince my parents to take me to Brian Oneils or Gingerman. Just I need time to think on my own.

A lot is on my mind and I want to relax and try to take things easy. Slowly. Hmm! I guess I should be happy that I am at home now but what am I going to do for the rest of my life. It sucks. I hate being stuck at home always on a Saturday night. I should go out and meet people. I wish I could drive, oh well.

Enough of me ranting. I am going to take it easy for now and see if the darkness of my computer is caused by a low battery if so I am going to turn off my computer and start again later on. Since I know that I'll be stuck at home again tonight.

addium in the last few minutes I found out what caused the sudden low dimlight apparently i placed it on low last night without me knowing I did so that clears things up now I can type.

This is has been a truly boring day

The weather was hot and humid and I couldn't do much because it was to painful to even go outside. The weather got to the point I nearly passed out heading to Big Lots today. My head hurts and I am tired. I didn't do much because of the weather. I did spend most of the day at home cleaning and relaxing something I should of done a while back but I couldn't do it because my brain was so full of stuff.

I had a terrible feeling of being sick and was supposed to go out tonight but I felt like throwing up after I got home from dinner. I am tired and my muscles are aching me. Boy am I tired I am trying to sleep but my eyes are still awake. The weather isn't helping me.

Oh ya today is Canada day so I thought I decorate the setting with a nifty picture of the Red Maple Leaves. Happy Canada you hosers. Also in sad note Amy and I broke up yesterday night we are still friends but the break up kind of made my day weirder. Hope that this brightens those who miss pretty foilage.
So I thought I write a lot today but I just didn' feel like writing much cause I am so tired.

now thats hot.

This is my poet friend Matthew James and a really hot chick who was really tall for him

Matthew and some tall blonde. I mean she is 6'3

On a Wednesday Night

Wow even on lower Westheimer Houston gets down.

The Late Malcolm Lentz 1949-2004

When I was a young poet, a few years ago I had a mentor. His name was Malcolm. He was a nice guy he died a year ago and I miss him a lot. Malcolm was a great source of helping me writing and his memory will always be something special. Spending time with Malcolm is something that I will share. Malcolm was a poet, a friend a great romantic of the arts. His death brought life in my age of cynical approach of everything. He helped me believe that any one who had a disease could over come with fighting back.

Browsing the web looking for my name

Its kind of cool, how many times you can search for my name Francois Collins is posted. Infact I found transcripts of an interview I did about Howard Stern. Here is the article.

Houston listeners will get a chance to hear for themselves Monday, when Stern's show debuts on KIKK-AM (650) during morning drive time. It will mark the first time Stern's show has aired in Houston. Sure, the veteran shock jock was yanked off six Clear Channel stations in February because of charges that his sexually explicit radio show was indecent.
He feels so besieged by the Federal Communications Commission's crackdown that he says he is thinking of moving his show to satellite radio, which is not regulated by the government. His Web site keeps a running tally of the months, days, hours, minutes and seconds remaining in his contract with Infinity Broadcasting (it's about 18 months and counting).
But the brouhaha may be the best thing that's happened to the self-proclaimed "King of All Media" in a long time. His ratings in most major cities are way up -- he is No. 1 among adults in Los Angeles for the first time in nearly 10 years, and No. 1 in New York, his home base, with his highest ratings in four years. He seems reinvigorated by his "free speech" crusade against the Bush administration, which he blames for instigating the FCC crackdown.
"The latest chapter in his career, in which he has become a political talk-show host, is one of its best chapters," said Michael Harrison, editor of Talkers magazine, the radio industry's leading journal.
"It's colorful, and it's interesting."
Houston listeners will get a chance to hear for themselves Monday, when Stern's show debuts on KIKK-AM (650) during morning drive time. It will mark the first time Stern's show has aired in Houston.
The station has dumped business news for a "hot talk" format with Stern as its centerpiece. He will appear from 6 to 11 a.m. weekdays on the station, which has dubbed itself "KIKK-A** Talk."
"It's exciting to give Houston another programming alternative," said Bill Van Rysdam, director of programming for KIKK and KILT-AM (610), both owned by Infinity Broadcasting.
"We understand that it's not everybody's tastes, but that's OK."
What can Houston listeners expect?
Edgy, abrasive humor, said Francois Collins, a 23-year-old Houston fan who got addicted to Stern's show when he lived near New Orleans.
"I like the fact that with all the political correctness in the world, he is the anti-PC," said Collins, who plans to tune in on Monday. "He's a teenager who has never grown up."
Collins said Stern is sometimes a turnoff, particularly when he makes fun of disabled or mentally challenged people. "I believe that's offensive, but I defend his right to freedom of expression," Collins said. "Everyone should be entitled to that."
Tyler Hiroms, a 25-year old receptionist who watches Stern on the E! Entertainment channel with her boyfriend, also is taken with the disc jockey's irreverent attitude.
"Sometimes I'm offended, but the majority of the time he's just funny," she said. "The fact that he doesn't really give a damn is pretty cool."
Houston is one of nine new markets for Stern's show, raising the total to 45. The nine include Orlando, Fla.; San Diego; Pittsburgh; and Rochester, N.Y., where Clear Channel recently gave him the boot.
In early June, Clear Channel agreed to a record $1.75 million settlement with the FCC to resolve indecency complaints against Stern and other personalities. Stern has fought back, joining Infinity Broadcasting, which syndicates his show, in a lawsuit against Clear Channel for lost licensing fees. He's launched an on-air crusade — he calls it a "jihad" — to defeat President Bush in the November presidential election.
Stern says the crackdown on his show is part of a broad attack on civil liberties by the administration, and he is rallying his listeners to vote for Democrat John Kerry.
During a news conference to announce the cities where his show will start airing, Stern noted that many of his estimated 8.5 million listeners live in "swing states," such as Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan and Florida, where they can influence the outcome of the election. "I see the Rush Limbaughs of the world, and I see the Sean Hannitys: They preach to the converted. I believe our audience is open-minded," Stern said.
Stern ranks third behind Limbaugh, with 14.5 million weekly listeners, and Hannity, with 12 million, according to Talkers. Unlike Limbaugh and Hannity listeners, who are predominantly conservative and Republican, Stern's are not wedded to a particular political party. A survey for the New Democratic Network found that 4 percent of the nation's swing voters -- those who haven't made up their minds and are open to persuasion -- listen to his show. "We call Howard the ‘king of the swing,' " said Simon Rosenberg, founder and president of the Washington-based advocacy group.
"According to our poll, one out of every six likely voters in America listens to him. In an election that last time was decided by 537 votes, that's a lot of people."
The New Democratic Network poll showed that compared to the general population, Stern listeners are more likely to be male (60 percent, vs. 48 percent of Americans) and younger (40 percent are between 18 and 34 years old, vs. 22 percent). But they parallel average voters in income, education, religion and marital status.
"They tend to look like America and share its values," said pollster William Mann.
Surprisingly, given Stern's often raunchy subject matter, his listeners were slightly more likely to call themselves born-again Christians than the average American. The Rev. Steve O'Donohoe, associate pastor of adult ministry at Grace Community Church, has trouble believing that statistic.
"I'm surprised a Christian would listen to him, knowing of all the profanity and innuendoes about sex," said O'Donohoe, who once worked as a disc jockey.
"According to the Scriptures, we love him. But I wish he would be different." Even with his newfound emphasis on politics, Stern has hardly forgotten the subject that has made his show so popular: a voyeuristic, sophomoric take on sex. He entices female guests to bare their breasts in the studio, obsesses about penis size and his sexual shortcomings, and discusses bedroom encounters with his girlfriend. (He and his wife, Alison, divorced three years ago after 21 years of marriage.)
For all his on-air bluster, Stern is surprisingly quiet once his show ends each day. He rarely does interviews (his agent declined a Chronicle request) and hardly ever appears in public. Photographs of him outside the studio are almost nonexistent.
During an interview with freelancer Prairie Miller in 1998 to promote his movie, Private Parts,Stern defended his radio style.
"I'm always amazed at how many people put me down for doing my kind of broadcasting, because they all scream that they want something different. But as soon as you do something different, people get nuts. They go, 'What are you doing? You can't do that.'
"Why can't you? Why not? If it's not for you, you turn it off, that's all."
Stern got started as a disc jockey at Boston University and worked in several cities before landing in New York in 1986, where his explicit brand of humor soon attracted a huge audience.
"I decided early on that since the media was getting so dull, I would say whatever was on my mind, even if it meant betrayals and charades with the management," he said. "Whether I was right or wrong, I didn't let that enter into it, the consequences be damned. I like that I show that side of my life."
There isn't much he won't talk about on the air, he admitted.
"I have always gone by the rule of thumb that if it's funny, talk about it. I wouldn't talk about something like someone burning up in a fire. But I wouldn't censor myself. I would examine everything and see if there was humor in it for me, and if there was, I would talk about it. If I start censoring those things, I don't have a show."
After almost 20 years in the business, however, Stern's act had grown stale. Before his recent run-ins with the FCC, his ratings had tapered off, and many wondered whether, at age 50, he was too old for such puerile shenanigans. Even his trademark physical features — shoulder-length black hair (with no sign of gray) and round-rimmed sunglasses — seemed dated.
An abbreviated version of the radio show appears nightly on E! It's the cable channel's highest-rated series, but the audience is minuscule compared to network television.
The late-night HowardStern Radio Show went up against Saturday Night Live a few years ago and failed miserably. It's been almost a decade since Stern has had a best-selling book (Miss America).
Private Parts, the movie based on his best-selling autobiography, was a modest success. A TV show he produced, Son of the Beach, flopped on the F/X channel.
Even so, he has retained a loyal audience for his radio show, which continues to attract top-notch celebrities. Tobey Maguire appeared on Stern's broadcast the day Spider-Man 2 premiered in theaters.
Yet success on Houston radio is not guaranteed. KIKK must change its sign-on time every few months because of an obscure federal regulation limiting it to daytime hours. For example, Stern will start at 6 a.m. in July and August and 6:30 a.m. in September.
His competitors are all on FM stations with stronger signals, longer hours and much higher ratings.
Stern's show does well in Dallas but flopped in Austin and New Orleans, where it was regularly beaten by Walton & Johnson. The duo is heard here weekday mornings on KLOL-FM (101.1).
"In spite of his tens of millions of dollars in free PR and his nationwide prime-time cable exposure nightly on E! TV, Stern continues to have a dismal record in the face of real competition," John Walton wrote the Chronicle in an e-mail message.
Stern has had a rocky relationship with Houston. After the murder of Tejano singer Selena in 1995, Stern provoked outrage by playing excerpts from her songs with gunshots added in the background. On the day of her funeral, he said: "Alvin and the Chipmunks have more soul ...Spanish people have the worst taste in music. They have no depth."
Houston radio personality Bo Corona called Stern to complain, and Stern instantly put him on the air. Their argument generated hundreds of calls to the station. Stern issued an apology in Spanish.
"He's got his own vibe, but to me his style is old," said Corona, now promotions director and weekend disc jockey at KHPT-FM (106.9).
"But if people like him, (they should) go for it. That's why we live in America. Everyone has a right to express themselves."
Talkers' Harrison is convinced Stern will continue to rule the radio roost.
"Stern is no fool. It's not like he's a wild man spouting indecencies," Harrison said. "He proved that Oprah, word for word, is as indecent as he is, if indecency exists at all." (Stern's Web site includes an analysis of an episode of an Oprah Winfrey show that contained graphic descriptions of various sex acts without a single bleep. Stern was fined by the FCC for using some of the same words.)
"I'm not political," Harrison said. "I just think Stern's show is great radio."
from RadioDailyNews.comJuly 16, 2004
"Houston Hawk" reports exclusively for RDN from the Bayou City
Howard Stern is coming to Houston. It's about time. If you are ready to watch one of the most classic uphill battles in radio history, I think it will unfold in Houston soon.
KIKK-AM 650 will debut a format they are describing as "Hot Talk" on Monday. Howard at the helm.
The AM dial here is pretty crowded. KPRC is talk, and right wing, they have Rush. KTRH is the closest thing to an all news format and is the flagship station for the Houston Astros. KILT-AM is sports, with Houston Texans football, as well as Rockets and Comets basketball. Then there is local conservative talker KSEV picking up the bits and pieces. Standards station KBME will get an honorable mention here, but the rest of the signals for the most part are religious, ethnic of the Asian or Middle Eastern variety or time brokered.
Enter KIKK-AM 650, a 250 watt daytime frequency licensed to Pasadena, south of Houston. The past few years they have enjoyed moderate success as a business radio station. According to industry types, it made money. Not much by Infinity standards, but for a quarter-kilowatter that broadcast from sunup to sundown, a reported million bucks a year is not bad at all.
It is a bold move to attempt this type of a format with those kind of odds. Will it work? Bet your bottom advertising dollar. I give Infinity credit for having the balls to do it, even though it was probably Howard himself that forced the company to clear him in markets like Houston where he has never had an outlet. Or, clearing him in other markets where his employer (Infinity) had stations where he may have occupied another frequency not owned by them. Namely, the Clear Channel markets that pulled the plug on him.
Howard is an acquired taste. Howard will shake things up. Howard will bring folks to the AM band, and Howard will make radio better for a lot of people. How? Are you a Houston GM or PD who receives a lot of complaints about racy comments, edgy material, offensive remarks or suggestive lyrics? You probably won't be getting those calls and e-mails anymore. Even those listeners will be tuning in (and complaining about) Howard.
I think that Howard will bring out the best in personalities in the Houston market. They will listen to him, see his success and determine that aspects of their own personal lives should also be a part of their shows. Howard is the master of this. Their listeners will become more intrigued and engaged by what they hear, and the station will benefit from increased audience and ratings-if their bosses have the guts to let them explore those uncharted waters. We'll have to wait and see on that one.
I am not hoping for a dial crammed with lesbian dating games and Bush bashing, but there are many things about Howard that Houston radio has been missing for a while.
The personality and sparkle that made this market such a desirable place to work or listen to just isn't here anymore. True, the demographics and ethnic makeup of the market have changed. There was deregulation. But it seems to me that the only real personality left on the radio, and the only battles really being waged are what we now hear on the ethnic or ethnic leaning stations. KRBE,KBXX,KMJQ,KLTN,KPTY to be specific. There are a lot more signals here than that.
No longer is the dial filled with vibrant personalities who made you dial in, even if the music they played was not to your taste, or the fact that they jammed in twice as many commercials as the competition. We wonder why audience erosion is at an all time high, it is because we aren't giving them much worth listening to. Howard will change that.
Howard will demonstrate in time that a heavy spot load, on a low power station (on the AM band) can get listeners. More in time than some of the successful FM's in the market. It will make money, it will get attention, it will get press, and it will generate a buzz around town. And whether you like his politics, his people, his patter or not, it is PERSONALITY that will make Howard, KIKK-AM 650, it's advertisers, Infinity, the broadcasting community, and most importantly Houston radio listeners, winners.

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